It’s been a few months since I last wrote anything in my blog. From having a lot to say I found myself quite suddenly and unexpectedly silenced. My Human Design reveals that is is a part of my nature to withdraw into privacy and retreat when I have some deep emotional experience to process, reflect on and distil. This has been an especially intense time as it has been my Kiron (or Chiron) return.
All of us have this time that is the marking of the end of our cycle of experience created out of our deepest wounding, and moving into the next cycle where we transform that wounding into the gift we can offer to others. A cycle is measured by the planetary movement around the Human Design wheel, activating every Gate (which is a hexagram from the I’Ching). So the entire I’Ching has been visited by Kiron in a period of 50 or so years. Each activation brings experiences related to the theme of the planet, in this case Kiron, and the theme of the I’Ching gate. So Kiron in Gate 37, the hexagram of Community/Family brings opportunities to explore wounding and move into healing and knowledge of Self around issues to do with belonging, nourishment, support, loyalty.
For people who have a 6 in their Profile (the two numbers such as 6/2, 6/3, 4/6, 3/6), this Kiron return is a more intense and significant occurrence. Each Gate/hexagram is divided into 6 lines and the themes of these 6 lines are keys to certain fundamental characteristics. People with a 6th line will see their lives divided into three sections, the first from birth to age 28-32, then the second from 28-32 until around age 50, then the third, from 50 until death. This time of Kiron return at around age 50 represents a time of intense healing of earlier life wounds and integration of the wisdom that has been learned from watching others from a distance. It is the time to re-engage with life and to re-emerge transformed in order to enact the Role Model that is the key theme of this 6th line.
My Profile is 6/2 which is Role Model/Hermit.
Although I knew and could feel the beauty of the upcoming Kiron return as a flowering or opening up of my potential, it hit me quite unexpectedly like a punch in the gut! I felt totally knocked off balance and unable to discern reality from projection as themes from my early childhood were replaying in my present relationships. It opened me up to long-buried feelings of shame and guilt, fears of being abandoned and alone, and death seemed to surround me in friends’ lives and stories I read, but not touch me directly. As Joseph Campbell says “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” The treasure – my freedom to love myself and live my truth. The realisation that nobody else can give me what I withhold from myself. The discovery of my courage in removing my defences and protection against these painful feeligs and turning away from any belief that speaks of being inadequate. My original innocence.
The process has become less intense and all-consuming now, but is still ongoing as I become increasingly open to my vulnerability and hidden shamed parts. I have been deeply appreciative of the loving guidance I was able to receive from The Communion of Light and support from friends. So I begin to feel myself re-emerging, rediscovering my voice and desire to share what I know and love about life, expansion, Human Design, freedom, liberation, love, relationships and more. I feel sure I will be writing more about this intense yet beautiful process of transformation and how living by your Strategy and Authority can be profoundly liberating at all times, not just when crisis seems to turn your world upside down and inside out. My canvas is blank – what will I choose to create that delights me?