emotional healingA Human Design reading can be a catalytic experience for healing emotionally, physically and spiritually. The purpose of the Three Keys is for you to make choices that bring you closer to your true and authentic Self and heal your emotional conditioning from childhood.

How we get conditioned

Every day we make decisions, often hundreds of them, based on who we think we need to please in order to protect ourselves from failure, shame and humiliation. This shows up in our lives as the pursuit of perfectionism/never feeling good enough, procrastination and over-committing ourselves. It is a form of personal abuse and does harm us emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is how we are conditioned to live an illusion rather than our truth.

Making the choice for freedom is when we set out on the path of recovery. Instead of reacting as though we were still needful of a parent’s love or protection we begin to make decisions based on our own need to love ourselves. Instead of splitting parts of us off, labelling them “unacceptable” or “unloveable”, we begin to integrate and become whole.

How we can decondition

We can learn how to make different choices, from our own personal authority, bringing us back, decision by decision, to our truth. As we do so we free up more of our energy for creating the life we desire. We learn to use fear as the spur to make new choices for freedom. We learn how to embrace ourselves fully and in so doing get to live a far better life which is ours to live freely and uniquely. We can feel a sense of belonging instead of the constant anxiety of trying to fit in.

Each Type in Human Design has a signature feeling when life is being lived fully. For Generators, it is the movement from frustration to satisfaction; Projectors, from bitterness to success; Manifestors, from anger to peace and Reflectors, from disappointment to surprise. So if your life is full of frustration, bitterness, anger or disappointment, this is indicating that you are out of alignment with yourself, and like water going through a straw that has a big kink in it, only a limited amount of your creative energy can actually make it through into the world.

Which path to freedom are you taking?

There are many pathways to this kind of freedom, and the Human Design System is an invaluable part of my toolkit. Shelley Klammer uses expressive art, and I’ve been doing her daily spontaneous collage (see above) alongside my Human Design work with great effect. It has helped me and my clients to explore feelings deeply in a way that words alone cannot do.

I love this article in which Shelley of Expressive Art Inspirations poignantly and compassionately describes her experiences of emotional healing of conditioning.

divider heart“We arrive as unconditionally loving beings into a conditional world. As children we become conditioned into the allowed parameters of the emotional patterns within our family of origin.

shelley klammer emotional healing expressive art inspirationsAs unbounded babies and open-hearted children we absorb the unspoken emotional energies of those that we live with. We learn quickly, what we are allowed to feel, and not to feel, who we are allowed to be, and not to be.

We conform to our surroundings so we can belong, yet there is an inherent quotient of emotional pain that we all need to bear for being human in a world that cannot always unconditionally love us in all the ways we need to express ourselves.

We grow up learning to love ourselves only to the level that feels comfortable to our family, society and culture. We reject everything inside that cannot be accepted by those around us. We can live our entire lives making the expression of our authenticity conditional on how accepted we are by other people.

Natural joy arrives – on the other side of feeling a suppressed emotion – in the body without mental effort. Most of us try to mentally cultivate joy by pursuing or creating pleasure. But as soon as the surface excitement of the party is over, the old rejected emotions seep back into our awareness. What we are truly seeking is embodied joy. We earn our embodied joy by becoming sensitively willing to bear any grief, anger, or fear that comes up in our life, and to love it until it dissipates.

“The art of life is to stay wide open and be vulnerable, yet at the same time to sit with the mystery and the awe and with the unbearable pain — to just be with it all.”  – Ram Dass

Leaving Old Conditioning Behind

We can trust that the Larger Forces of life are collaborating with our emotional healing – even as when feel intense, and at times, unbearable pain. As we labor to birth our authentic emotional truth into each moment, we leave our old emotional conditioning behind, and something stronger and more passionate births into our life.

When we are willing to feel what is uncomfortable, we change profoundly. The passion, freedom, and reverence for life on the other side of a difficult feeling quite different from the careful way that we normally live our lives.

transformation butterfly

image from nationalgeographic.com

We can focus our energy, attention, prayers and questions on each new layer of arising emotional pain, and ask that the Larger Life give us clues, guidance and support about how to feel, heal and release our discomfort. We can ask for the help to love ourselves enough to move into an authentic life on the other side of our conditioned emotional limits.

When we fear our own feelings we stay passive, controlled, and unable to take original action in our lives. We can remind ourselves that the strength of unconditional love is always stronger than emotional pain. We can choose to breathe deeply into the stuck, contracted, hurting places in our body. It is possible, with help from on High, to stay continually and unconditionally present to whatever feelings we are experiencing, without distracting or sedating away from them.

Most of us tend to react to difficult feelings through the eyes and feelings of a child part of self and continue to re-bury our emotions. If we do not process and cleanse our challenging emotions when they arise to be cleared, as the years go on, we will feel physically stiff and sore, and well on our way to chronic illness. When we hold everything inside we go through the motions of life, numb, afraid, and irritated. Most of of us are not willing to admit how much we emotionally struggle inside. Most of are afraid to share how often we feel emotionally overwhelmed.

When we live in a flat-lined state we try to heal our emotionality through thinking and doing rather than feeling. We are not taught that to become more emotionally present means sometimes feeling intense discomfort in our bodies until the energy unblocks and we feel free and spontaneous again. Feeling each layer of stored emotion – burning off what we previously did not have the strength or presence to withstand – is the gradual process of cleansing our heart.

At key points in our life, we will feel called to feel and integrate everything we could not emotionally handle from our past, and the choice is ours. If we refuse to address the non-integrated energies from the past when they arise, we will dissociate from loving ourselves a little bit more. Every feeling we deny makes life feel progressively inauthentic and stops up the natural flow of our energy. Life ignites and triggers us to revisit the misunderstood experiences and unprocessed emotional energies that we could not digest from the past, so that we can re-open our heart to our spontaneity and authentic passion.

Excerpts from Emotional Healing – A Natural Birth – Expressive Art Inspirations by Shelley Klammer (click here to read the full original article)

divider heart