Shame is fertile ground for anxiety.
The trauma of your wholeness being violated in some way can create this kind of inner split.
Judgment and criticism set up a division in your cells. Part of you feels wrong and to feel that, needs another part to keep finding things to tell you are wrong. This is the frozen trauma state; it has not been moved to resolution where the split energies can recombine into wholeness.
There is a victim and an abuser within one body. And they are locked into a room together endlessly repeating the cycle of violence.
You are the attacker.
You are the victim.
How can either one of them break free?
They have to leave this prison together.
Becoming aware of the actions of both and foregoing either as your identity begins healing.
You can be an attacker; you can be a victim; you can also be neither of these. Therefore you must be more than this.
Demand this truth from yourself. Settle for nothing less. No compromising.
Don’t disown either part of you. That’s committing further violence to an already traumatised inner child.
Treat your fears with compassion and be courageous for they will lead you home to your integrity.
Integrity: “the state of being whole and undivided”.
“Integrity is a deeply physical attribute and is actually a function of your immune system in maintaining the tensile strength within your body.” – Richard Rudd, GeneKey 18
If you find yourself locked into long-term or very strong almost overwhelming complaints and grievances against another person, I highly recommend you read “Perfect Love; Imperfect Relationships – Healing the Wound of the Heart” by John Welwood
For those who are seriously committed to deep levels of healing, then I highly recommend Richard Rudd’s book GeneKeys: Unlocking the higher purpose hidden in your DNA. He has made an in depth study of each of the 64 hexagrams of the I’Ching and their relation to our physical, emotional and spiritual being through DNA. His mission is to show how contemplation elevates our shadow fears to the Gift level of frequency.
My own ebook Feeling Bad About Yourself – and What You Can Do About It: Healing Shame with EFT is available here for free download